I found this typed out on my phone and decided to post this as a reminder to myself, that I should never have to change myself or give up on my dreams just to become what someone else wants.
Don’t settle for someone just because they fit all the boxes on your checklist; a person is more than just an amalgamation of adjectives. Does his soul feel like the home your wandering heart has always been waiting for?
Don’t settle for someone who hastily makes lofty promises of loving you for life; words could turn to dust within a day, or at least as soon as they find someone else more captivating to ‘love’. Wait for someone who doesn’t carelessly say ‘I love you’, so when they say it, you’ll know they mean it.
Don’t settle for someone because you’re afraid of missing out; if they’re the one, you’ll know it. If they’re not, spare both of yourselves the heartbreak of a love that was never meant to be, and wait for the right one.
Don’t settle for someone if it means compromising your own values; you matter too, and so do your beliefs. If their opinions and beliefs are too irreconcilably different from yours, it’s better to walk away than fight it out.
Don’t settle for someone just because you’re afraid you’ll never find anyone like him; maybe he’s handsome, intelligent or rich and he might seem like the prince you’ve waited forever for, but those things can be lost overnight. Wait for a love that nourishes your soul, not your materialism.
And the biggest fear of all: Settling for someone who isn’t willing to share your dream, and who makes you sacrifice it in the name of love. Someone who perfectly complements you in every other way, except that they don’t want to push you towards your dream (for whatever reason) or walk towards your goal alongside you. If you have to give up the most burning desire in your heart just to be happy with a person, don’t – you’ll regret and resent your choice one day, forever tortured with the question of ‘what if I had followed my dreams instead?’
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If you’re interested in exploring my blog, click here for an index of all the posts I’ve ever written (travel, musings, doctoring), or check out my most read series below:
- the Chasing Dreams series: a multi-part series chronicling my thoughts, dreams & changing ideals over the years (since 2018), including burnout, quitting the rat race, migration and trying to find my path in life
- the (not-so-definitive) guide to doctoring: Getting into Med School & FAQs | Surviving your Clinical Years | MBBS Tips | Life as a M1 // M2 // M3 // M4 // M5 during COVID // Life as a Doctor (monthly series) | Chasing Careers series